Got Here By Running My Mouth
by AryaTyrell
Summary: They survived an alien invasion, but can they survive high school?
1. Of First Days and Math

**I saw this last night, and I was like, "Oh my God, where has this movie been all my life?" **

* * *

><p>The sun shone brightly on the morning of September 1 of 1979. Countless bikes pedaled up Lillian High's front walks and were chained to the bike rack. Girls wore seldom-used dresses and boys donned decent-looking polos in honor of the first day of school.<p>

"I was hoping that I'd never see this place again," Cary sighed as he trudged up the stone steps to Lillian High. He'd grown a bit taller over the summer, but other than that little had changed about him- his wavy blonde hair still hung around his shoulders and he was still obsessed with fire.

"You said it," Joe replied, pushing open the doors. Loud chattering instantly crashed around his ears. His cherubic face was framed by soft brown hair, inherited from his mother. Like Cary, he'd grown a few centimeters or so.

"Come on, guys!" Martin said. Nerdy as ever, he shot up nearly two inches. His huge glasses and pocket protectors automatically dubbed him as the resident geek. "Cheer up. School's actually pretty fun when you get used to it, and we'll be starting Geometry this year and Chemistry-"

"Ah, shut up, Smartin," Charles yawned, using Martin's nickname (which he hated). Charles had lost some of his baby fat, but some still remained. "The only thing I'm looking forward to is T.V. Production."

"Yeah, really," Cary agreed. "If only there was a 'Blow Shit Up' class-"

"God forbid," Joe muttered. Everyone laughed.

"Let's just try to get through the first day without killing each other," Charles said. "Hang on, are any of you in Mr. Kahliberi's chem class?

Everyone dove into their bags for their schedules.

"Nope," Martin said, disappointed.

"Negative," Cary shook his head.

"No," Joe replied.

"Dammit," Charles said. "Jen told me all about him, apparently he's an old man who likes perving on all his students..."

"Well, who _doesn't _perv over Jen?" Cary reminded him.

"Good point."

"Room nine-one-oh..." Joe muttered, consulting his schedule. "Ugh, this is Mrs. Nit's room. Catch you later," he said. He felt a bit sick.

"You'll be fine, Joe," Cary reassured him, reading his mind.

Joe turned the doorknob. Five seconds in the door and he already felt ten times more comfortable, because he saw a very familiar long mane of blond hair.

"Alice?" he said in surprise. She turned around at the sound of her name, and within a second a smile lit her face.

"Hey, Joe!" she said. "Great to see you!" Alice had gone on vacation to Florida to see relatives for the remainder of the summer holiday, so the boys hadn't seen her since the alien invasion. She returned tan and happier than they'd ever seen. Her father was also in a chipper mood. He'd even made waffles for them one morning when they'd come to see her.

Joe was eager to talk to her. "What classes have you got? Maybe you've got some with me and Charles and the others-"

"Art and T.V. Pro," she said. "You?"

"Same!" he beamed.

"So are any of the other guys gonna be here? Or is it just you?" she poked him.

"Just me," he grinned at her.

"Great," she said. "But I wish Cary was here, though. I wonder if he'd blow the teacher's head off..."

"Ha, probably."

* * *

><p>As the friends talked more about the scenario, a few doors down Cary was seriously considering setting his teacher on fire.<p>

His first class of the day was Mr. Dunn, the old fogey who taught Geometry. Mr. Dunn began rambling about rules and rituals and routines and Cary was bored out of his freakin' mind. So he doodled Mr. Dunn exploding on the corner of his paper.

Cary resurfaced when he heard his name being called.

"...and Team Eight will be Cary and Elle," Mr. Dunn was saying.

_What? Teams? _Cary thought, completely confused. _This is math class, not gym! _

There was a sudden flurry of activity as everyone moved around the room to their partners. Cary sat there, feeling like a dumbass, until a girl with shoulder-length blonde hair approached him.

"Er... Cary, right?" she said to him.

"That's me," he grinned at her. "Cary the Awesome."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm Elle. Now let's get started." She plopped the textbook in front of them and pulled a chair up.

"Great. So... what are we supposed to be doing, anyway?" Cary asked her, fast regretting not paying attention to Mr. Dunn.

"We're _supposed _to be finishing the problems of pages three and four, and whoever finishes first makes Mr. Dunn sing a song," Elle said, scrawling her name on the top of her paper.

"Really? That's mint, man. We should make him sing 'My Sharona.'"

Elle cracked a grin. "Definitely. So, Cary the Awesome, how's your life?" she asked, copying the first problem.

"Er- well, I like blowing things up..." Even to him, it sounded lame.

"Like, firecrackers and all that, right?"

"Yeah."

"Cool! My mom's really freaked out by firecrackers and things like that, so I hardly ever get to touch them."

"That sucks. Hey, maybe I can show you my collection sometime," Cary told her.

"You have a _collection_?" Elle gaped at him. "You, my friend, have some problems."

"Yeah, I get that a lot." In the back of his mind, Cary thought, _Maybe Mr. Dunn's won't be so bad after all. _

* * *

><p>Charles was facing a serious dilemma.<p>

_I should sit in the front, _he thought. _That way I can see and hear better. _

_Nah, you should sit in the back, _the annoying nagging voice in the back of his head chimed. _That way you can doze off and no one will know. _

_I should really sit in the front, I'm awful at science, and mom said if I got bad grades she'd take away my camera... and it's a Super 8 camera too! Then I wouldn't be able to make movies or anything!_

_But you can always get help from Martin or Preston, _the voice reminded him. _Heck, just sit in the back today and sit in the front tomorrow, what's the problem? _

As Charles puzzled over this, a boy twice his size barreled into him. "Watch it!" the boy said.

Charles muttered some apology as he scuttled away from the doorway.

"What did you say?" the boy said, anger flaring up at once.

"Hey, hey, Adam, calm down now," another boy with dark hair came to Charles' rescue. "The guy's sorry, so just move along now..."

Charles recieved daggers from Adam but he moved away to a far corner of the room.

"Thanks," Charles said to the boy who'd saved him.

"Anytime," the boy said. "That's Adam, over there... he's got a really bad temper, so watch out for him... 'm Bryce, by the way, who are you?"

"Charles. I make movies."

"Really? That's awesome. Ever entered in a contest?"

"Yeah, last summer I did. I made a movie about zombies," Charles said, his chest puffing out with pride.

"That's sick, man. Can I be in the next one?"

"Sure thing. But you'll have to meet the other guys first, I'm not sure if they'd want to do a movie with someone else..."

"No problemo, amigo. Let me know, okay?" Bryce said.

"Yeah, sure."

_Production value score! _

* * *

><p><strong>Ta-da! Let me know what you think, I can't wait to hear from you guys... <strong>

**FACTS THAT ARE FUN (also know as fun facts): **

**-The odds that you'll get stuck in your next elevator ride are 1 in 100,000. **

**-Every minute, 5 CDs are sold on eBay and 7,000 songs are downloaded on iTunes. **

**-And speaking of eBay, half the things on there recieve no bids. **

**-Walt Disney World goes through about 194,871 miles of toilet paper every year. **


	2. Of Lunch and Homework

**EXTRA CREDIT FUN TIME! :) Question: What song is the title of this story from? **

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><p>Three hours after that first period, the lunch bell rang, and it was <em>glorious. <em>There was a mad rush to the doors for that precious thirty minutes of freedom, and for a few minutes the hallways were pandemonium.

Joe fought his way to the cafeteria and found Charles and Martin in the corner of the room. "God, I can't wait for this day to be over," he groaned, sitting down with them.

"Well, this is day 1 out of 235 consecutive days," Martin said. "234 more days to go!"

"Thanks for reminding me," Joe said sourly.

"Dude, have you guys been to Mr. Dunn yet? He's amazing," Cary told them, sitting down next to Joe. "Me and Elle made him sing 'My Sharona,' it was great."

"You and who?" Charles asked.

"Elle. Just this girl in my math class. She's pretty cool," Cary shrugged.

"Oooh, Cary's got a crush," Charles teased.

Cary blushed all fourteen shades of pink, right down to fuchsia. "Do not," he huffed, crossing his arms.

"Do too," Charles returned.

"Do mine ears decieve me? Cary has a crush?" Alice goggled from behind Joe. He quickly shoved Cary's bag to the floor to make room for her.

"Asshole!" Cary grumbled, reaching down to get it.

"So who's the lucky lady?" Alice asked, tucking into her spaghetti.

"Um, some girl named Elle," Joe filled her in.

"Elle Astin?"

Joe shrugged. "No idea."

"Hey, Cary," she smacked the back of his head to get his attention.

"Ow! What?"

"Did Elle ever tell you her last name?"

"Yeah. Ass or something."

"Was it Astin, by any chance?"

"Yeah!" Cary brightened. "How'd you know?"

She shrugged. "I know her. Our dads used to go out gambling or whatever and they always dumped us together."

"So, did you ask her out?" Joe nudged Cary.

"God, no! I dont even like her."

"Uh-huh," Joe hummed. "That's what they all say."

"I can see it now!" Charles said dreamily, staring off into space. "You invite her to see your fireworks, but one goes off and burns her, and then she's in a coma for months, during which you say you've loved her your whole life... Say, that would make a good movie," he snapped out of his reverie.

"In your dreams," Cary said, disgusted. Charles just shrugged.

* * *

><p>The night was black and full of stars. The old clock-radio read six P.M., and a radio serial wafted gently through the speakers. Inside the old but still bright living room, the five teens sat around the coffee table, trying to complete their impossible homework.<p>

"'Find the number of degrees of the hypotenuse,'" Joe read from his textbook that evening. "What does that even mean?"

"This suggests... that... Native Americans... Needed their land... And didn't... Want... To.. Give it... Away... To... White... Assholes," Cary murmured as he scribbled his History essay.

Martin was horrorstruck. "You can't write that!"

"Right, I'm sure Mrs. Nit is going to look real closely at a hundred kids papers," Cary rolled his eyes. "I can't believe she won't let us use typewriters."

"Yeah, really," Charles agreed, struggling with his own essay.

Joe peered at Cary's paper. "You know we were supposed to write that in black ink, right?"

Cary looked at his paper, which was written in... Blue ink.

"Shit!" he said. "Shit, shit, shit, fuck, bastard, crap, shit!"

"Feel better?" Alice asked, slightly amused.

"Not really," he sighed as he crumpled up his paper and lobbed it to the wastebasket and switched pens. "Okay, let's do this. _Beringia was a land bridge that... _"

"I hate homework," Joe sighed.

"Don't we all."

* * *

><p><strong>So... yeah... it's kind of short... : **

**RANDOM NOTE: Lately I've been so obsessed with Ryan Lee that it's freaking my friends out, so now I'm "Mrs. Ryan Lee" so now I can be cool! :) **


	3. Of Magic 8 Balls

**One day, I want to open a store that sells real life things from video games. Like, in the costumes section would be Mario and Luigi's red and green things and in the Weapons I'd have the Stars they collect and Zelda's sword and things like that. So today I told my friend Michelle and she was excited... until she reminded me: "Wait, you have to license all that stuff to sell them legally." **

**Licensing. What a boring word to stand in the way of fun. **

* * *

><p>"Oh, Magic 8 Ball, will I become rich and famous?" Cary gave the ball a good shake.<p>

_Don't count on it. _

"Don't count on it!" he repeated in disbelief. "Joe, there's something wrong with this," he said as he passed the ball to his friend.

"I think it's pretty accurate," Joe replied. Cary gave him a dirty look.

It was fourth period, also known as "study hall." Mr. Keesing, who was overseeing the process, was as deaf as a post and only had eyes for whatever book fell into his hands, so study hall became a free period for them. Joe was ever grateful for this, because he often found himself with a headache after three forty-five minute periods of pure, unadulterated education.

"Okay, er... Magic 8 Ball, will _I _become rich and famous?" Joe addressed the black-and-white ball.

_Wthout a doubt. _

"Read it and weep," Joe flashed the ball's answer at Cary.

"Magic 8 Ball, will I ever grow up to sue Mattel?" Cary questioned the ball.

_Reply hazy, try again. _

"Why, I oughta-!" Cary reached for the ball but Joe held it out of reach.

"Hey, no! You still owe me for that Luke Skywalker model you broke last spring-"

"That was an _accident, _how many times do I have to tell you?" Cary retorted impatiently. "And I didn't _break_ it, for God's sake, I just burned the arm a little-"

"A _little? _His hand is missing!"

"It wasn't my fault!"

"Ah, yes, but I seem to recall that it was _your _firecracker."

Cary pounced on Joe with renewed energy. Alice, who was sitting across from them, shook her head in disbelief. But luckily, she was prepared. She reached into her canvas bag and pulled out a small spray bottle. "Bad Cary!" she sprayed him. "No fighting with Joe in public!"

Cary shook his head wildly, trying to rid his hair of the water drops. "Will you _please _stop using that?" he said in an exasperated voice.

"Not until you've learned your lesson," Alice replied tartly.

"But-"

She sprayed him again.

"I was just-"

Another burst or water.

"Alright, alright! Jeez."

"Charles, you next." Joe passed the toy to him, the barest trace of a grin on his face.

"Awesome. Alright... Magic 8 Ball, will I win the film festival next summer?" Charles shook it. "All signs point to yes!" he read gleefully. There was a little 'hmph' from Cary. "Alice?" he offered the ball to her.

"Sure. Okay... erm... will Cary ever behave like a human being?" After a few seconds, she burst out laughing.

"What? What?" her friends prodded her.

"Very doubtful!" she showed them.

"One day, I will sue Mattel for all they've got," Cary muttered darkly.

* * *

><p><strong>Friends + 8 ball = this. <strong>

**Peaceskies! **


	4. Of Chess and Poker

"Checkmate!" Alice said triumphantly, knocking down Cary's king.

"Nooo! You cheated!" Cary accused her.

"Call it whatever you want... at least I'm not the one who moves their pieces when their opponent isn't looking."

Cary glared at her. "Well, let's play poker. At least with cards I have half a chance."

"Does it _matter_?" Joe asked over his math homework. Originally they were going to go to the park, but Joe and Charles still had Mr. Dunn's work to finish. Alice and Cary had already finished in class, much to Joe's amazement. Mr. Dunn lectured so long that there were usually only about ten minutes left to complete their work. In the meantime, Alice and Cary were playing a number of games on the coffee table im Joe's living room.

"Yes," Cary replied matter-of-factly. "No one ever beats Cary the Awesome at poker."

"Okay, but let me warn you... I'm not very good," Alice said as Cary dealed a worn deck of cards.

"That's okay, you get better as you keep playing... Okay, so the amount to stay in is a dime for now. Alice, do you wanna call, raise, or fold?" Cary asked. Joe rolled his eyes and went back to geometry.

"Right, so I've got 206 degrees for angle C." He furrowed his brow a few minutes later. "That can't be right. Charles, what did you get?"

"Uh-" he consulted his paper- "67."

"How?"

"The Pythagorean Theorem."

"That's what I used!"

"Well, if you got the wrong answer, then you used it wrong."

"Obviously."

"Then why are you telling me this?"

"Never mind," Joe said hastily, trying to avoid a fight. "I'll just look it up." He thumbed through the book's glossary.

"Hey, Cary, do you think that Eleanor-" Charles started.

"Her name's Elle, how many times do I have to tell you?" Cary grumbled. "Raise you eight dollars," he added to Alice.

"Whatever. You think she can act?"

Cary shrugged. "Never asked."

"Well, ask tomorrow, because there's a new plot for a movie I made and we need two girls-"

"Why can't we can use Joe?"

Alice started to laugh. Charles almost did too, until he caught the mutinous look on Joe's face and quickly turned it into a hacking cough.

"Dude, Joe's worse than Martin at acting. So just ask her tomorrow, alright?"

"Alright," Cary hummed. "Heh heh, I can't wait to see what hand Alice has-"

"Royal Straight Flush," she announced, laying her cards on the table.

"_What?_" Cary asked in disbelief, pulling her cards towards him. Sure enough, the ten, Jack, Queen, King, and Ace were present.

"Damn," Charles commented, in awe of Alice's skill.

"Agreed," Joe said, watching Cary chase Alice around the room. "So can I see the story?" Charles dove into his bag for it.

"Check it out. Am I awesome or what?" Charles tossed the crumpled yellow notebook to Joe, who scanned the pages.

"You actually turned that firework idea into a plotline?" Joe asked, puzzled.

"Yeah. Figured we could use a romance. Haven't made one in a while," Charles shrugged. "Oh, by the way, do you know how to make people look presentable? Like, makeup-wise, I mean."

"Uh, yeah. I think. Why?"

"Amber- aka Elle- has to be really pretty. Like, _really._ I want people to feel for Rob- Cary- and why he loves her so much."

"Point taken. I'll probably have to go to the library and look up some methods, I'm more accustomed to zombies," Joe grinned at Charles, handing his notebook back. Joe felt his chair suddenly move. "What the-?" He looked down to see Alice squeezing herself under the table.

"Don't ask," she said. "Nyah nyah! Can't get me!" she said to Cary.

"That's alright, just make sure it's really good," Charles said, completely ignoring Alice. "Hey! Hey! _Shitheads!_" he looked under the table, where Cary was trying to pull Alice away. Both looked up.

"Yeah?" they said in unison.

"Are you guys doing anything Saturday?"

"No," they chorused. "Hey!" they said again to each other. "Stop doing that!"

_"Hey!" _Charles snapped his fingers. "Meet me at five on Lookout Hill on Saturday, okay? I want to get a shot of the sunrise in the background for my new movie-"

"Five in the _morning_?" Cary's mouth fell open. "Not cool, man."

"But you'll get to blow shit up..." Charles wheedled.

"Can I set off my M-80?" Cary asked excitedly.

"Whatever you want. So you're coming?"

"Mint."

"Guess I'll have to," Alice nodded assent.

"Cary, remember to ask Elle about that acting job, okay?" Charles said seriously.

"Yeah, yeah. Quit nagging." And their fight resumed.

* * *

><p><strong>Ahhh, poker. <strong>

**OTHER GOOD CARD GAMES: Spit, Spoons, B.S., Blackjack, Slapjack, and Egyptian War. **


	5. Of Acting and Sunrises

**"Ape-out" means go crazy, in case you didn't know before. **

* * *

><p>"Remember, ask Elle to be Amber in our movie, and give her the script-" Charles reminded Cary for the hundredth time that morning.<p>

"I _know, _Charles. Jeez."

"Whatever. Good luck anyway." Charles left him standing in front of Mr. Dunn's door. Shaking his head, Cary went inside. The room was alive with chatter, which was surprising, because usually everyone was half-asleep in the morning. He caught sight of Elle, and his stomach gave a little lurch. _What_ _was that? _He shook his head vigorously, trying to clear his mind._ For God's sake, you're just asking her if she can act. Stop wigging. _

Cary dropped his bag in his chair and sifted through it, searching for the script. "Dammit." He pulled out crumpled bits of paper, rubber band balls, a used firecracker, homework he'd never turned in-

"The Sea of Decay," someone said behind him. Cary nearly jumped out of his skin and swiveled around to see Elle, grinning at him.

"Oh, it's you," he said.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Sit." He patted the desk next to him. "So- er- I was wondering- can you act?" He deliberately buried his face in his bag so he wouldn't have to look at her.

"No idea. I've never tried it. Why?"

"Well, one of my friends, Charles- he's this guy who likes making movies- he needs a girl for one of the roles, so... like... yeah." he finished lamely. "Oh, _here _it is, damn thing- anyway, read this for me." He held up a paper bearing a scene Charles had hastily scrawled out.

"What's this?" she flipped through it.

"Script," Cary grunted. "Start from the highlighted lines on the first page. I'll do Lex for you."

"Alright... ahem... 'I don't know, Lex, I just feel something... something _different _for Rob. It's been out of control. Yesterday he smiled at me and I don't know... my heart sped up, I broke out in a sweat, and I suddenly felt faint.'" Elle's voice was soft and heartfelt, and Cary found himself believing her. "'It's weird... I've known him for years, why is this happening now? Lex I... I think I'm in love with him!'"

She looked expectantly at Cary, who had been sitting there and staring at her like a dumbass for the past minute.

"Oh, sorry.. uh.. 'No way, Amber. You say that about every guy you meet,'" he read flatly.

"'No, this is different, Lex. I feel like it's meant to be. I really do. It's like... fireworks.'" She sat back, a critical expression on her face. "Was that okay?"

"Okay? _Okay? _That- that was-" he couldn't even find the words. "Dude, Charles is gonna love you."

* * *

><p>"Charles, get your fat ass out here! I didn't wake up at five on a Saturday for this crap!" Cary's shrill voice broke the early morning silence.<p>

"I'm _coming, _I'm _coming,_ just hold on-" Charles' reply crackled through the walkie-talkie.

"You said that ten minutes ago!" Cary whined.

"Keep your shit together for a few minutes, I'm coming-"

"You said _that _ten minutes ago, too! What're ya doing, Charles, putting on your makeup? Let's go, let's go, we're gonna miss the sunrise!"

"Shithead, it takes a while to bike to Lookout Hill when you've got a camera, a tripod, and a mic on your back!"

"Why me?" Joe sighed to Alice as they watched Cary ape-out. His makeup box lay at his feet, along with a few reference books from the library. "All I wanted to do was work for the movies and I get this." He gestured to Cary. Alice giggled.

"So why is this hill called Lookout Hill?" Alice asked Joe, perplexed.

"It's what Cary yells when he sleds down here in the winter," Joe said, a faint smile on his face. Those were the good days. They'd have sledding races every day when it snowed- Joe always came in second, after Cary. Charles usually came in a close third, and Martin always fell off and hurt himself in the first round.

"Who're you calling a shithead?" Cary was yelling.

"Who's a shithead?" someone panted from behind them. Joe turned to see Elle clambering off her bike, gasping for breath. Her blonde hair was plastered to her forehead.

"Oh, no one," Cary said, putting his walkie-talkie behind his back. _Ohmygodit'sreallyher- _

"_Cary, you shithead!" _Charles' voice blared from the speaker.

"'Scuse us," Cary smiled, wheeling around.

_"Right,_ Elle, I've got to do your makeup, so if you could just-"

"Huh? Oh- right-" she pulled her hair up into a scrappy ponytail. Joe dabbed a towel over her face to help dry the sweat.

"Jeez, woman, where did you come from, you're dripping buckets everywhere," Joe said, dabbing away.

"Oh, er- I live by Beach Boulevarde."

"Explains a lot," Joe said. Beach was about a mile away- a very _long _mile if you were traveling by bike. He set down the towel and started on the foundation, pouring a small dot on the sponge.

"_Cary- I- swear- to- God- I- am- going- to- kill- you-" _Charles gasped suddenly a few minutes later.

"Don't blame me, man. I was just trying to motivate you!" Cary gave his excuse.

"_You asshole!" _Charles proceeded to chase Cary around the hill.

"_Guys, quit screwing around! _The sun's coming up!" Alice pointed. Pink rays were beginning to spread across the horizon.

"_Fuck!_" Charles ran to his bag of equipment. "Don't just stand there, _help me! _Joe, are you done?"

"Just about," he replied, hurriedly dashing foundation on Elle's face.

"Good! Places! _Cary,_ _get your ass over here! _Get your fireworks ready! Costumes, everyone! _Go, go, go!_"

There was a mad scramble of limbs and shouting and tangled feet. A box of film was snatched off the floor; Joe swung the boom mike around, connecting the leads. Everyone swarmed around the hill, searching through their bags, juggling equipment.

"Hurry, get that set up-"

"Shut up, I am TRYING!" Alice retorted, but there was no time to be surprised at her sudden reply- the sun was rising.

The actors stood to attention. Joe held the boom mike out in front. Alice snapped the film casing shut and put both hands on the big black camera.

Charles moved out of the camera's field of view, tugged a pair of headphones onto his head. "Ready? Alright. Aaaaand... _action!_"

* * *

><p><strong>So I'll just end here today... I want to save the outcome of the movie for the very end. So... please don't hate me... <strong>

**I have BIG plans for this story. It's gonna be epic. Like, Star Wars epic. **

**I'm exaggerating. But just the teensiest little bit. **


	6. Of Running and Love

**WRITER'S BLOCK. Doesn't it piss you off. You have great ideas for a chapter, and then you sit down at your computer to start it... and then your mind is blank. And you're just like, fuck! Fuck fuck fuck! Just fuck! **

* * *

><p>September faded into October, giving way to vermillion-colored leaves, cool breezes... and gym class.<p>

"Oh, gross, gross, gross, gross..." Martin squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his way around the locker room like a blind man.

"Jeez, Martin, calm down. Just change and get out," Charles told him.

"Or don't," Joe suggested, twirling his lock.

"No, no, I want a grade for gym! Someone lead me to my locker..."

"Why do I hang out with you?" Charles sighed, pulling out a gray shirt and green shorts- Lillian High's gym uniform.

"Hey, you guys! Check this out!" Cary pointed to his shirtless form, revealing a monster drawn in a black magic marker. "I did it in Mr. Dunn's," he told them proudly. "See, look, he breathes!" he took exaggerated deep breaths. Joe shook his head at his friend's antics.

"Whoa- whoa- augh!" Charles fell to the ground attempting to put on his shorts.

"Smooth," Joe grinned.

"Shut up." Charles heaved himself up.

"You guys? Is this the way to the lockers?" Martin called. Eyes still closed, his hands still outstretched, he was wandering into the showers.

"Yeah, yeah, buddy. Just keep going straight," Cary snickered back.

"I hope we're not playing dodgeball again," Joe said as he pulled on a gray shirt, wincing a bit at the memory.

"Nah, we're not, they only make us play that once a week," Cary informed him, jumping in the air to pull his shorts on.

Joe gaped at Cary. "How do you know?"

"Have you ever read the school rulebook?"

"No, why would I?"

"So if you ever get in trouble you can defend yourself with pure, solid fact," Cary explained matter-of-factly.

"Ah..."

* * *

><p>"I... hate... gym..." Charles puffed ten minutes later as he jogged along the track. Today's assignment: run three laps around the track (which was equivalent to a mile) in under fifteen minutes. Go over the set time limit, and the day's work would result in an F. Unfortunately, Joe and Charles were horrendously unfit. Martin was even worse- he lagged about three yards away from them.<p>

"Tell me... about it..." Joe agreed, his body drenched in sweat. "God, how does Cary do it?" Cary finished his laps in six minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Small and wiry, he was the ideal runner- and often got practice from running from police when a firework landed on their car.

"Maybe... he's on steroids..."

"Yeah, probably..."

"Hey, you guys!" Alice said brightly, jogging past them. Her blonde hair was tied in a sloppy ponytail, but flyaways flew in the breeze nonetheless. She swiveled around and started running backwards to face them. "Still on your second?"

"Shut up," Joe grumbled. "Friggin' Cary is on his seventh, I think."

"Wow," Alice said, impressed. "I'm only my fourth."

"How long has it been?" Charles asked her.

"Er-" she consulted her watch- "ten minutes, seventeen seconds."

"_Shit! _We've only got five minutes to get our third lap! _Run, run!_" Charles yelped, sprinting ahead.

Joe's legs felt like lead. "Charles, if we ever get an A, we'll be dead!" he shouted after him.

"No, I'll be dead when my mom kills me for failing gym!" Charles called.

"Alright, see ya in the morgue!" Joe replied.

"'Kay!" Charles yelled back, flashing a thumbs-up sign. He disappeared amidst the other suffering, running kids.

"So, Joe," Alice said.

"So, Alice."

"I think Cary's officially been bitten by the lovebug."

Joe stopped in his tracks. "With who?"

"Elle," Alice said promptly.

"That girl in his math class?"

"Yup."

When Joe had finally processed this information, he finally burst, "What makes you think that?"

"Look." She pointed somewhere across the track. Squinting in the bright sunlight, he could just make out Cary walking with Elle, laughing with her.

Light finally dawned on Joe. "No wonder he wanted to finish his laps so early."

* * *

><p>Cary looked particularly happy about something as they changed back into their clothes after class. He'd been surprisingly silent throughout the entire process, which was slightly worrying.<p>

"Dude, is Cary sick or something?" Charles muttered to Joe, who was buttoning up his shirt.

"Yeah. It's a new disease. It's called love."

"Excuse me?"

"It's Elle. All Elle. Did you see them in gym earlier? It was disgusting."

"Oooh, Cary..."

* * *

><p><strong>Cary and Elle, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G... <strong>


	7. Of Star Wars and Girls

_Suppose the Europeans never discovered America. How would your lifestyle be like today? _

_Err... _

The sun's rays were dying out, the last bits of pink and orange spreading over the horizon as it sank lower and lower into the sky. Its rays barely lit Cary's room, but he was almost done with his homework anyway... just this one question... He chewed the top of his pencil thoughtfully. Well, for one, he'd be sitting in the 'parlor' or whatever drinking tea with his little finger up. And... there would be no Coke. He began writing this, deciding it was better than nothing. His mind began to wander, touching briefly on life, school, homework, fireworks, and one certain someone...

_And then there's a girl, a beautiful, radiant, amazing girl, with blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Someone so incredible that she makes your breath jump every time she laughs, someone who makes your heart stop everytime she smiles at you, someone who- _

_Oh, come on, focus, the sooner you get done, the better. _

Suddenly, the shrill rings of the phone echoed throughout the house. Cary jumped, accidentally breaking his pencil's lead.

"I got it, I got it!" he yelped, sprinting down the stairs and diving for the phone. "Hello?"

"_Ohmigod, Cary, you will _NEVER _guess what we're doing this weekend!" _Charles yelled excitedly on the other end.

"You're right, I can't guess. Tell me."

"It starts with 'Star' and ends in 'Wars.'"

"Star Wars?..." Then it finally clicked. "Oh my God. No way, man! You got tickets to the Star Wars festival?" Cary said in disbelief.

"Uh-huh," Charles said smugly. "It's this Saturday- can you come?"

"You bet I can! Oh, I'll come in Darth Vader mask and every..." Cary's voice faltered. "Wait, I can't, I have homework."

"When did you start caring about school?"

Cary sighed impatiently. "It's Mr. Dunn's stupid survey project, it's due Monday."

"Ah, fun with Mr. Dunn..."

"Oh, shut up. Anyway, Elle was gonna come over and help me on it..."

"Oooh, Cary's got a crush..." Charles sang.

"Do not," Cary huffed.

"Do too."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-huh."

Cary rolled his eyes. "Whatever, dude. See you tomorrow, I've got to finish Mrs. Nit's stupid questions."

"Cary and Elle, sitting in a tree-"

"Oh my God, Charles. Stop."

"K-I-S-S-"

"Charles!"

"I-N-G-"

Cary slammed the phone down with all the strength he could muster. "Damn Charles." He jogged back up to his room, threw himself into his chair, and resumed writing the answer. But within thirty seconds, his mind had wandered back to Elle. He'd gotten her on his mind, and now he couldn't get her off.

* * *

><p>A few blocks away in a certain boy's messy bedroom, a thin paintbrush dabbed against a resin model of Frankenstein, adding fine detail to blood-red lips. Joe peered through the thick maginifying glass, his head resting in his hand. Soft thumps! came from the closet. Alice was over, going through it. Weird as that may seem, the two teens were completely comfortable with this process. Joe's closet was endlessly entertaining for Alice, who had taken home much of the junk to renew, retouch, and sell at the local pawn shop.<p>

"Joe, your closet is like an antique store," she remarked, peering at an old Monopoly game. She carefully set it aside with things she was going to keep.

"Yeah..." he muttered absently. _Huh, this doesn't look green enough. Maybe if I just put a little more on his chest... _Joe went to dip the brush in the green pot, and in the process, the phone rang. Joe jumped, upsetting the pot and causing it to spill its contents all over the newspaper.

"Shit." He carefully removed the pot from the green ooze now spreading across the paper, chiding himself for not being more careful- model paint was expensive. He was about to throw it away when Deputy Lamb opened the door.

"It's for you," he held out the phone to his son.

"Yeah, thanks... hello?" Joe held the phone in between his ear and shoulder.

"Is Cary on drugs?" Charles asked him.

"Pardon?"

Charles repeated his request. "Uh, not that I know of, no," Joe replied, sitting at his desk again. He took up the paintbrush again as he asked, "Is that why you called? Because you just made me waste good paint, and-"

"Dude, he turned down the Star Wars festival!"

Joe nearly made a blot of red on Frankenstein's nose. "_What?_"

_"He turned down Star Wars! _I called him just now, you know, to ask if he wanted to go- and he said he had to _do his homework!" _

Joe was in shock. "Wow," was all he could say.

"And then, you know what he said next?"

"Tell me, tell me, tell me, pleaseeee..."

"He said _Elle was going to come over and help him with it!" _

"Oh my God..."

"Dude! _He turned down Star Wars for a girl!_" Charles was shouting so loud that Joe had to hold the phone at arm's length.

"Okay, Charles, calm down.. deep breaths, deep breaths..."

"What happened?" Alice asked from the depths of his closet.

"Cary turned down the Star Wars festival for Elle!"

"_What?"_ Alice reappeared in the doorway, mouth hanging open.

"I know!"

"Joe, I just needa ask you one question," Charles said.

"Shoot."

"_Is it possible that Cary is falling in love for the first time?" _

* * *

><p><strong>Oooh, Cary... ;) <strong>

**NERD ALERT!~ Yes. I am obsessed with Star Wars. Contrary to what I've written, I would NEVER pass up the opportunity to go to a festival for it just for "homework"... **


	8. Of Pros and Cons

**DUDES! I'm losing my voice D: I hope I don't have strep throat or anything because that would suck... last time I lost my voice I was like five and I had to sign language to my dad to get me Cheerios... **

* * *

><p>"No."<p>

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

Third period art class was proving very difficult for Joe. For one, he couldn't convince Cary to go after Elle. And for another, his clay pot wasn't coming out too hot. As much as he tried, he couldn't get his pot to thicken enough without flopping all over the place. Cary wasn't doing much better, either. It didn't help that Alice, who was sitting to Joe's left, was halfway done... and of course it was perfect.

"Come on! We _all _know how you're _soooo-" _Joe batted his eyelashes for emphasis- "In love with Elle. Go. Ask. Her. Out! If you don't you're going to be forever alone and be living in a cave-"

"I'd rather go and live in a cave than go out with girls," Cary said stubbornly, wrapping a coil around his pot.

Joe shook his head at his friend's denial. Cary's mind, however, was racing.

_Huh, maybe Joe's right... suppose someone else gets her before I do? Oh, God forbid... but still! What if she says no? Huh? What're you gonna do then? Lie low, maybe, don't talk to her, shut her out of your life... No, I can't do that, I see her practically every day! She's gonna say no, she's gonna say no, she's gonna say no... _

_But what if she says yes? _

Cary sighed. _Nobody knows how hard it is, being a guy. _

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, across the school, Elle was having a very serious discussion in History with her friend, Sharon.<p>

"My love life sucks," Elle sighed, scribbling down the first question on the review sheet.

"Same," Sharon agreed. "Although- I think that Cary guy likes you." She looked pointedly at her, her long brown hair cascading down her back.

"Cary? From Mr. Dunn's? He's just a friend," Elle replied, flipping through the textbook.

"Uh-huh," Sharon grinned at her.

"What?"

"You!" She prodded her. "Come on, you guys are _meant _for each other!"

"Riiight. Just like me and Mark Hamill were meant for each other."

"No, I'm serious this time!" Sharon said, gesturing wildly with her hands. "I'm telling you, he's gonna ask you out somewhere soon. _Real _soon."

"Mm-hmm..." Elle hummed, scrawling the answer.

"Elle!" Sharon punched her playfully on her arm.

"Sharon!" Elle returned the punch.

"So- suppose he _did _ask you out... what would you say?" Sharon pried for information.

"Er... I dunno... I've never really thought about," Elle said thoughtfully, chewing the tip of her pencil. "Probably yes- no, no- no, wait, yes-"

"List the pros and cons about him," Sharon suggested. Elle thought this was a good idea, so she brought out a clean sheet of paper and wrote:

_PROS: _

_-Really nice  
>-Really sweet!<br>-Kinda nerdy  
>-Likes fireworks. <em>

_CONS: _

_-Has braces. _

That was as far as she got.

"Shallow, much?" Sharon grinned at her as she scanned at the list.

"Shut up," Elle mumbled.

_So I guess that means I'd say yes to him... Ah, no! I can't say yes! We're still in the friend zone, right? I don't even like thim _that _much... oh, but it would crush him if I said no! What would I do then? I can't avoid him forever. I mean, I see him every day in the morning. _

Elle shook her head and sighed. _Nobody knows how hard it is, being a girl. _

* * *

><p><strong>Awww. Gives you an idea of what a hopeless romantic I really am... sigh... LOVE! What a boo-yah-tiful thing. <strong>

**-If I ever go on a bad date with someone, I'll jump up, scream, "YOU'RE AN ACTOR, I'M AN ACTOR, THEY'RE ALL ACTORS, AND YOU'RE ON MTV'S DISASTER DATE!" and run out. **


End file.
